John Banks minister of Amnesia / corpruption



John Amnesia Banks. 



I know you are most likely sick of hearing about John [forget-me-not] Banks but it’s not every day that you see a possum caught in the headlights fighting for his life. This is even more shocking than normal since this possum set his own trap then walked into it…funny that don’t you think?

This idiot should go…now! Have you ever heard such tripe come out of the same mouth?

Question: Who is Mr. Kim Dotcom?

Answer: I don’t know him…what money…$50.000, gee I forgot that…

Question: What about the chopper ride to the biggest mansion in Auckland…

Answer: I can’t remember that.

Question: But your name is on the passenger list…

Answer: Hmmm.

Question: And what about the discounted holiday in the flashy and most expensive hotel in Hong-Kong?

Answer: Oh was that discounted, well I never knew that.

Later at Banks’ mansion, the down stairs maid overheard an interesting chat, and passed it on to eavesdropper…its satire by the way.

“You’re a liar John, you told lies”, said his wife sounding really angry.

No way, a fib or two maybe and don’t forget I paid the Hong Kong bill with your credit card!

“Oh John does that mean I could go to jail too, I mean we did get a massive discount”

“No way, they don’t jail rich people’s families”

“But they are jailing heaps of financial crooks these days”, she uttered then asking “your not a financial crook are you?

“I don’t think so, but really I can’t remember, It is said that I’m a good money manager, an ex minister of police and National Party cabinet Minister for so many portfolios that I’ve forgotten what they all were, and I was the Mayor of Auckland, wasn’t I?

“Yes dear you were, once upon-a-time”, she said as she patted his head.

“Don’t do that he cried, both Key and Dotcom do that and it makes me so angry!

“Sorry dear, I forgot, so Dotcom is your friend?

“Oops I’ve done again”

“Don’t worry dear I don’t think you’ll get jail time…but if you do I’ll be here waiting to comfort you when you are set free”.

Coin Craig...minister of civil unions?

Banks has now made the pop charts via Dotcoms rap tune, ’Amnesia’ and Colin Craig that born again wee chap who spent $1.5 million at the last election on the Conservative Party and who says prayers forcibly at staff meetings and allows you to join any union so long as it’s not a Civil Union and who invites you to smack your kids with immunity and who took over the defunct Christian Heritage Party from that strange fellow who was convicted of naughty acts with young persons…a perfect replacement for John Banks. If Craig is elected, Key will make him the puppy dog Minister of Police and Charter Schools and all things religious.