Wednesday, 28 November 2012

24 hour rape crisis line under threat of closure

Its funny how things change, not too long ago, it was equally a crime to have a surplus or a deficit…now day’s salary increases for CEO’s come with a surplus.

In Palmerston North the local DHB had a surplus of 6.75 million dollars, to get this surplus they wiped the ‘Star rehabilitation unit’, cut back on diabetes services, dumped staff, reduced hours of employment and introduced parking charges. While at the same time increased the CEO’s salary to over four hundred and fifty thousand dollars plus per year.

The Palmerston North woman’s crisis centre has had its funding slashed…maybe the DHB could spare a little of its massive surplus to help them out… This from Auckland, can you help.

Prime Minister John Key has just done a devastating back flip. 
It is with deep sadness and anger that I let you know that Auckland's 24 hour rape crisis line is again under threat of closure -- less than 12 months since 7,000 of you signed my petition that forced PM Key to promise its survival.
The 24 hour rape crisis line is integral to our community. It’s the service that Auckland's sexual violence survivors can turn to for help. For thirty years, it's taken a call every hour of every day. 
A year ago, PM Key said he’d do his part to help rape survivors by funding the crisis line. But, we always said we'd need to stay vigilant and hold the government to their word. And now that the spotlight has dropped off, the Government thinks it can get away with slashing funding for this essential service. 
The service needs just $116,000 from the government to survive. And we know we can get that commitment again if we continue the pressure. Share the petition with at least 5 of your friends and have them add their names to support a vital service. An immediate and overwhelming response will show the Prime Minister that we're still watching.
This service will close unless we act now. The service's board will soon start offering redundancies to counselling staff -- the exact people rape survivors rely on for support and advice in their time of need. 
Volunteers and staff are planning some media events and are trying hard to get the word out. But take a moment to share the petition with at least 5 of your friends and do your part to help an essential service that many rely on.
I know we can hold John Key to his promise. 
Thanks so much for your help.


P.S. After sharing the petition, it would be really helpful if you can leave a message with the PM's office on (04) 817 6800 -- and let him know how important this crisis line is for our community.

The big splash is over...Hobbits bite.

PM in drag. 

The Hobbits…

So the big splash is over, public relations businesses have had a field day. Myths have been created, lies and half truths have been told and political advantage grabbed in a multitude of re-written history.

The cost to New Zealand of making the first Hobbit movie has been massive. Every single person, man women and child has paid around ten dollars each. And the movie was made in NZ because labour was cheap and made even cheaper by changes to our industrial laws.

As pointed out by many Hollywood observers Warner Brothers never had any intention to make the move else where and the reasons were simple. Just like our manufacturers go off shore to China, India etc because of cheap labour, Warner Brothers did exactly the same. As pointed out they did this because they found a government willing to cower down to their pressure and give them huge tax breaks and law changes. That government was our government, which means you paid the price for us being selected as the fall guys for a Hollywood looking for free money and cheaper labour. The tax breaks here are even greater than Mexico these days.

If you live in Wellington you paid even more as your council paid out heaps to fund the PR circus that allowed the government approved theft to be swept under the red carpet. But it was rewarding for all the British and UK citizens that reside here, it gave them a chance to honour their history of Hobbits and goblins and generally funny people and at the same time forget their own economic woes that hang over them these days.

Sir Peter Jackson received a knighthood and a huge boost to his bank balance because of John Keys desire to make the headlines as the saver of the New Zealand film industry, when the reality is he was nothing more than an auctioneer that sold off our hard earned industrial laws and our national independence. The one law for all was forgotten in the rush to bow to Hollywood and Warner Brothers.

While we should be proud of those actors, artists and workers who created the Hobbits we should not forget that they took wage cuts, loss of working conditions, and the loss of income so that we could all bask in the false glow of the world media for a day or two.

Now all you have to do is to rush off to see the movie so that Warner Brothers can make even more money and don’t be surprised if a picture of our brave PM appears on the screen dressed up as a hobbit seeking your vote in 2014.    

Thursday, 22 November 2012

Which David asks Labour Party

David who. 

Solving the Labour Party’s leadership woes…

They met in a back room in the opposition wing of the beehive, David C and David S. David C has an ego the size of a house while David S has inferiority complex as large as a football field.
They met to sort out their differences. The wider party membership had successfully at the Conference democratised the rules for electing or selecting a leader thereby bringing the party out of the rightwing Roger Douglas era and into the twenty-first century  

“I want to be boss”, said David S.
“You are the boss”, said David C
“Stop agreeing with me”, said David S
“But you want me to agree with you”, said David C
“You know what I mean, I want to be the real boss, like Helen was”, said David S
“You can’t be like Helen”, uttered David C
“Why can’t I”, moaned David S.
“It’s obvious, you’re not a woman and you’re not as brainy”, shouted David C
“I am so”, said David S, while stamping his foot.
“I’ve been to Harvard”, said David C clapping his hands.
“So”, said David S as he stamped his other foot.

Suddenly the door opened and there stood Shane Jones…

“Can you keep the bl---y noise down, we are trying to sort which one of you two twits we are going to support”, he said in his usual gruff tone.

“Oh I thought you were here to ask if you could hire an adult movie or two”, said David C

“That’s just cost you my vote said Shane Jones”, as he left the room slamming the door behind him.

“I have to sack you”, yelled David S as he jumped up and down on the spot.
“You can’t sack me, I’m too smart and I’ve been to Harvard and Helen thinks I’m the cat’s whisker”, sang David C.
“You keep saying that and I’ll box you’re ears for you”, said David S.
“You and whose army, remember I was taught boxing at Harvard”, said David C taking up a classic boxing stance.

Just as David S was pulling up his trousers and rolling up his shirt sleeves and David C was combing his thinning hair the door flew open and there stood chief whip Chris Hipkins holding an open note book…”We’ve decided”, he said, as he checked his note book…its unanimous. Every one has voted for David”

“That’s wonderful”, said both David’s…but which David? they both asked at the same time.

“Oh, hell”, muttered Chris Hipkins “I forgot to ask them which David…what say we toss a coin”…   

Friday, 16 November 2012

Another police stuff up backfires

Steven McIntyre, was he pushed? 

Intimidation leads to suicide…true or false

What has happened to our police force, have they lost the human touch? Do they understand the laws they are trained and paid to enforce? Their record over the last few years I believe have shaken deeply the trust that citizens once had.
Is it too much political interference? Too much US style policing methods, poor training, lack of staff numbers and back room staff?
The Police Association representative Greig O’Connor blames everyone but the police, but that ‘see no evil’ attitude as an excuse is wearing thin. Every single event leaves a long term impression on people’s minds. The headline failures of the Tohu Raid, the Dotcom FBI illegalities, The M’C gang raid failure down south, the lying to the judiciary are bad enough… but there are many others that haven’t made the main stream media. The case of Stephen McIntyre is but one such case and it had shocking consequences for both Stephen and his family. But one blogger got the message out…

The Police have responded to the NZ Herald*about the exclusive story Tumeke broke this morning regarding their bullying and intimidation tactics that occurred before Stephen McIntyre's suicide. 

The blogger was contacted by Stephen's lawyer this morning and he points out that their answers to what they were doing at Stephen's home on the 16th July don't stack up and I would argue that they are demonstrably false. 

This is the transcript of events on July 16th as written by Stephen in his own words right after the two Police officers had visited him and threatened him...Monday July 16; approx. 8:15pm

Two officers (one man, one woman) from Waitakere knocked at my door while I was in the middle of class. They could see I was teaching when I answered the door. They identified themselves as police and asked to speak with me outside.
I stepped outside and was told by both officers that they could smell cannabis. This was impossible. I said I didn’t understand exactly what was being implied and pointed out that I was in the middle of work and that there was no illegal behaviour taking place.
They checked my name and address details and that I was complying with bond conditions.
The man asked me if I had a lawyer and what his name was. He asked if I had an idea of what I was going to do on Thursday when I next make a court appearance. He said I had 1 charge currently against me but that more could follow if the arresting officer decided to ‘dig further’. He said I could make it all turn out much easier depending on what I decide to do. He made mention of how other people have made noise and turned cases like this into a campaign.
I said I understand and explained that I would be talking to my lawyer in a couple of days about Thursday‘s court appearance.
He asked if I was a cannabis campaigner. I explained I had been an activist for cannabis law reform for 13 years.
Once again, he made reference to smelling cannabis. Once again I pointed out that I was in the middle of work.

Relieving Western Area Commander Detective Inspector Karyn Malthus said officers went to McIntyre's home to check he was living there, as his bail conditions stated.
Stephen's lawyer says to this...Tumeke went on to state:

I also agree that there was no point or need for a Police visit as Stephen was not on a curfew condition of bail and was perfectly entitled to be away from his home at any time of the day or night. I have never known Police to make night time bail checks on clients where no curfew condition is in place. this claim that they were just checking his bail conditions were a nonsense because Stephen had no curfew set. His only condition is that he lived at his address. The Police are pretending that such checking would be standard, they are doing that because they need to justify why they were at Stephen's house at 8.15pm on a Friday night. 

Malthus said police could smell cannabis smoke within the address when the door was answered and chose to speak to him outside the address to "avoid causing him embarrassment". Police chose not to pursue any charges over the cannabis smell, she said. In answer to this Tumeke says:

Really? Let's get this straight. On the 22nd of June, according to their own fact sheet from the arrest, the two officers could smell cannabis and conducted a search of the Green Cross premises based on that smell. Does anyone honestly believe that the Police after using that tactic at his workplace wouldn't then use it again at his home? There are 7 eyewitnesses, the 4 guitar students, Stephen's widow and his two teenage sons who can attest to the fact there was no marijuana being smoked. 

Ask yourself, if the Police really did smell cannabis, wouldn't they invoke a search? They had him up on 350 grams plus $1400 odd dollars using that exact same tactic of 'I smell cannabis' at Green Cross on the 22nd June but they didn't on 16th July?

Tumeke suggests that the Police couldn't smell any cannabis at all because if they could, they would have searched and arrested him again.

"Police inquired as to whom Mr McIntyre's lawyer was so that any communication that might be required should go to the correct counsel. This is a normal police activity." 

This attempt to explain what they were doing at Stephen's home is the most demonstrably false part of their explanation because the Police knew who Stephen's lawyer was. This from Stephen's lawyer: 

That is absolute nonsense. Police were well aware that I was acting for Stephen as my office had been involved in the case from the very day of Stephen's initial arrest. I had already represented Stephen at his first Court appearance and we had also had several subsequent communications with the Police officers dealing with the case, regarding receiving disclosure material and such like.

I [Tumeke] put to people that the answers by the Police are false and that they are trying to create a cover up to what their Police officers were really doing which was to bully and intimidate Stephen into pleading guilty and that this bullying ultimately had a terrible conclusion. 

So the Police are lying when they say they turned up at Stephen's house to find out who his lawyer was because his lawyer had been there from the 22nd of June, the day he was arrested. He appeared in Court for Stephen and spoke to the Police several times regarding the case.

The answers given by the Police raise more questions and there needs to be an Independent Police Conduct Authority investigation into the events surrounding Stephen's suicide.
*Green Cross Auckland would like to clear up 3 points from the NZ Herald story.

1: It was not 'low-grade' marijuana.
2: Green Cross Auckland has nothing to do with Billy McKee and his Green Cross syndicate.
3: Stephen died 22nd July not 24th.

Less than a week after this intimidation, on July 22nd, Stephen was found dead. 

This is the open letter to the Police Commissioner from Stephen McIntyre's widow, it was posted yesterday and a copy sent to the head of the Auckland Drug Squad.Dear Police Commissioner,
Please find enclosed an introductory letter explaining who we are and what we do...
Mission Statement Auckland Greencross Charitable Trust is a patient-orientated organisation committed to assisting sick, disabled, and dying patients in the accessing of information and resources required to enable medical support for medicinal cannabis use.
to advise inform and assist patients who may not tolerate conventional treatments, and who seek help with the relief of conditions where cannabis is known to be efficacious.

To assist those who are already self-medicating with cannabis to seek professional support and guidance.
To create a network support system of interested medical professionals who approve of their patients using medicinal cannabis.

To assist patients who wish to legally apply for Sativex with ACC and WINZ support.

To advocate for patients’ rights and lobby appropriate government departments to have medicinal cannabis placed within the regulatory framework of the Medicines Act.

To meet the needs of both patients, and society, through open and honest education, and by doing so help, create safer and healthier communities.

Stephen McIntyre was a founding trustee who voluntarily took on the role of office manager. As such, he was the only person present when our offices were raided by police on the 22nd June. Medicines were found, and Stephen was arrested and charged. After recovering from the shock of having our premises violated, our medicines confiscated, confidential patient records stolen, and our office manager being victimised; we were enthusiastic about publicising our cause and organisation through Stephen’s court case.
On Monday 16th July, at eight fifteen pm, two police officers visited the McIntyre residence unannounced. Stephen was in the middle of giving a guitar lesson to four adult students. Stephen was a guitar teacher. Our sons Terumi, Takumi and I were also home at the time.
The officers asked to speak with Stephen outside, where they told him they could smell cannabis. This was impossible. Stephen explained that he was in the middle of a lesson and that no illegal behaviour was or had taken place at his home.

The officers then asked if Stephen had a lawyer and who that is. They asked how he was going to plead in court and what he was going to say. 

The male officer then became threatening, he stated that Stephen could be facing more charges if the arresting officer decided to dig further, and that it could all turn out much easier depending on what Stephen did in court. He made mention of how other people have made noise and turned cases like this into a campaign. The officer asked Stephen if he was a cannabis campaigner. Stephen explained he had been an activist for cannabis law reform for 13 years.

Once again the officer made reference to smelling cannabis, and once again Stephen pointed out that was impossible and he was in the middle of work.

The police then explained they were checking on his bail conditions and could be coming back whenever they chose to.

Stephen was very upset by this experience. Stephen was a law abiding, gentle man who was not used to aggressive police behaviour. He felt his security and privacy was unjustifiably violated. He felt scared and intimidated.

Less than a week later on 22nd July, Stephen took his own life.
I know that that the behaviour of the police at my house on 16th July created more fear and stress than my husband could cope with.
My questions to you are, firstly; what were the police doing visiting our home in the first place? Bearing in mind that Stephen’s only bail condition was for him to reside at home. Stephen was not on a curfew, so he was not obliged to be home at 8 15. Secondly; how do you justify intimidating behaviour by police in the sanctity of our home?
I look forward to your reply.
Reiko Yanai

Well Greig O’Connor what's the police associations excuse for this bit of sound police performance?

Thursday, 15 November 2012

No one owns the water, yeah right.

The Day Hone Harawira MP came to Palmerston North.

Hone wasn’t alone he was accompanied by another Hone, Hone Morris and two exceptional Maori women, Dr Maria Bargh and Dr Huhana Smith and what a team they made. Their subject was water [Wai] and its sell off by the government. The location: Te Manawa

John Key says that no one owns the water…according to all four speakers that is simply crap of the highest order. The Government controls its use, decides its allocation, dictates its flow and gives it away to farmers or to the highest bidder. So since it acts like an owner…it is the owner.

The Maori Council is representing all Maori in their attempt to get government to come to the table and reach a pan agreement regarding water and its use. The government has and uses a divide and rule strategy and they use this covert method to avoid reaching an agreement with Maori as they promised and as the courts have upheld they should.

The audience of eighty plus warmed quickly to the collective atmosphere and simply buzzed their collective agreement with the each speaker’s contribution, and so did I. The four dynamic speakers then in turn connected the audience to the views of firstly the Hapu and then the Iwi and lastly to the country as a whole.

A Maori saying came to mind as I listened to each speaker in turn: ‘E mohiotia ana a waho kei roto he aha’…One can not know from the outside what is contained within’ [Unless one can see within]

I very quickly realised that if one is to understand the strong emotional attachment Maori have for water one needs to share a period listening to Maori interact on the issue. I could have attended no better gathering or Hui to assist with this goal.

Hone Harawira said

“We all collectively need to do better than we are doing at the moment” “For some iwi leaders a lot of discussion is driven by Pakeha corporate development: they see water as a valuable commodity from which they can make money. He went on to say: If any iwi buys into a deal, those profits will come from your whanau paying their power bills”.

What I realised was that Maori are in fact on the frontline fighting a battle on all our behalf. The sell off of our assets such as our power companies like Mighty River Power, is a crime against all our citizens be they Maori or Pakeha, the sell off is both wrong both financially and morally.

It now looks as if the petition sponsored by the Greens, Mana and Labour will force an referendum to be held…if you have not signed yet then please do, this would prove that when required we can unite fully to keep our assets in our hands. Hone Harawira said:

“He believed a referendum against asset sales would overwhelm the government’s position”

These two hours were far more rewarding than listening to ex National and Act party dropout John Ansell preach his doctrine of hate:

Friday, 9 November 2012

Paul F Green of U3A and the Invisible Empire

Paul F. Green presented a paper as a part of the University of the Third Age Superpower Lecture Series on November 7th, 2012. It was entitled ‘The USA and the Invisible Empire’.

Paul F. Green should be congratulated for writing and presenting such a hard hitting lecture/presentation on the subject.
It is a solid and detailed piece of work and covers the subject in great detail yet uses a language form that can be clearly understood.

I was drawn to it after listening to ‘Don’s Discourse’ on Access Radio last Thursday where Don Esslemont suggested that it was more of a sermon than a discussion paper. Don stated that while he didn’t think highly of it the others at the lecture seemed to like it. That immediately fired up my interest. When I was lunching with a friend who had attended Paul’s lecture/presentation and stated how he absolutely enjoyed it I was doubly interested in the subject matter.

He supplied me with a copy I carefully read the document and found it well worth the effort.

This opening paragraph sets the scene:

“This paper will develop the idea that America’s superpower status was built on over-exploitation of its natural resources, the imperial conquest of its native population, the intimidation and military defeat of neighbouring states, and the growth of its monopolistic industrial corporations”.

Paul went on to say:

America’s businesses initially attracted foreign investors to expand America’s mining and transport infra-structure and these investors also supported the growth of its scientific technologies. Its industrial capacity, which historically developed in the north and northeast of the country, also explains its rapid transition from a developing capitalist state to a position of world dominance at the end of WW2. In this respect, however, I will argue that Americans were delighted to be left as the wealthiest and most unscathed of the Allies but were woefully unprepared for their superpower role as the world’s police force. The association of industrial wealth and military power is and has been a critical feature of its imperial expansion in both the 19C and 20C.

Let me skip half a dozen pages and come to the section that I think upset my fellow Access Radio broadcaster Don Esslemont:

The Reagonomics obsession with deregulation had taken the teeth out of environmental controls, the airline industry and many other health and safety regulations that governed standards applying to medicine and food processing. Again self-regulation based on trust in the integrity of the producers was being relied upon in an unregulated environment of profit driven companies. The elephant in the room however was the environmental damage being done by pumping CO2 into the atmosphere, polluting lakes and rivers and adding toxins to the groundwater. The extinction of species of flora and fauna like the claims of global warming were being treated by the oil industry and its political allies in Congress and the White House as gross exaggerations by environmental fanatics. By 2006 the scientific evidence that the warming was due to human intervention, primarily from burning fossil fuels, was beyond reasonable doubt. John D. Rockefeller IV wrote to the CEO of ExxonMobil expressing his outrage at the 20 year long multimillion-dollar campaign to debunk the scientific evidence. There were obviously some ‘experts’ who, like politicians, could be bought  

Back to Paul’s dynamic paper: This is his conclusion;

The actions of the invisible empire of Big Oil have subverted governments and disrupted the lives of people all over the world and American military forces have been used by the U.S. government to defend their interests. The oil reserves these companies hold include some of the dirtiest tar sands, that when burnt, produce far more pollution than the traditional crude oil. Their continued exploration and production in offshore locations is as we know both costly and dangerous and the fracking techniques could also prove even more dangerous. An oil spill in the Arctic Ocean, which is melting rapidly and being explored as we speak, could accelerate dramatically both the melting and the global warming. The oil cartel is not only the richest group of corporations in the world; they constitute an unholy alliance of anti-democratic plutocrats. The two greatest terrors facing the human race today are the possibility of a nuclear war and climate change that threatens the ecological integrity of life on earth. With the threat of war against Iran and the apparent determination to burn up the remaining fossil fuels, Big Oil look very much like the biggest terrorists in the world today.

If you would like a full copy of Paul’s paper simply drop me an email [ ]and I will supply you with one. His paper is particularly relevant today because we [NZ] are still following: The Reagonomics obsession with deregulation.

To read more about my views vs. Don’s go to:

Thursday, 8 November 2012

Kiwi colloquial speech competition

PM instructs private school in English level 2

Bats... and the PM:

Founded in 1896, St Hida's Collegiate School has grown into a successful and progressive institution promoting Christian values and academic excellence. Saint Hilda's Collegiate School is a girls' secondary school in Dunedin, New Zealand. Founded as an Anglican school in 1896 by the first bishop of Dunedin, Bishop Samuel Tarratt Nevill and staffed by the Sisters of the Church. Wikipedia

This was the private [but State funded] school that the PM was visiting, the PM is known to prefer private schools because they have smaller classes and higher standards. It was to this group that the PM gave his verbal demonstrational lesson in and of Kiwi colloquial speech.

“It was reported by Radio New Zealand that he made the comment to a group of students at St Hilda's Collegiate in Dunedin last Friday. According to the report, Mr Key said Beckham was handsome and nice but was also "as thick as batshit".  

When questioned in Parliament he denied saying the s word…so what did he say…he says he can’t remember…but we do know that the children giggled…so to this week’s competition.

Your task should you accepted is to select the word he might have used…so here is the overheard sentence again, leaving out the word he can’t remember, simply put in the word you think he might have used…below are some words that may get your mind freed up for the task.

Send me an email of your selected word so I can compile a master list

Beckham was handsome and nice but was also "as thick as bats [….]"

Bats- wings…
Eye balls…
Eye lashes…
Night vision…

Sunday, 4 November 2012

How to sell NZ to the UK market...Key style

John Key in Gay mode speaks about intelligence.

John Key has brain meltdown

Who is the smartest, some one who has made 50 million via Wall Street money shoveling or some one who has made 250 million playing the world’s biggest and most popular sport?

In both cases we are not talking intelligence here, we are talking smartest and there is a difference. One can be smart but not intelligent, or intelligent but not smart.

There are well known crooks that were smart, because they manage not to get caught, at least for long periods, for example South Canterbury finance bosses and many others involved in the finance industry particularly in first world nations. This discredited and corrosive industry was both slick and smart but as to their intelligence, that’s a different question.

There are others who live in the world of professional sport, some are brilliant at what they do, and are paid millions and millions by their codes and sponsors and while it is difficult to decide if they are simply smart or intelligent it is easy to see if they are talented or not…one only has to watch them.

Well the other day John Key our very own PM put his foot in his mouth and spoke through his toes, and his highly unintelligent words echoed across the seas and ended up in the UK media… 

NEW Zealand's Prime Minister has branded David Beckham "as thick as bats***", reports said yesterday.
John Key made the stinging remarks - reported on Radio New Zealand - to a group of schoolchildren in the city of Dunedin yesterday.
He told the youngsters that his own son had spent 45 minutes with the former England skipper when he played an exhibition match for an invitational side in Auckland in 2008.
The PM said Becks, 37, had been very friendly, but then cruelly claimed that the LA Galaxy star wasn't particularly bright.

You may not have heard of David Beckham but he is the highest paid UK bred soccer player ever and a past captain of the English team.

Now I don’t know how thick bats*** is but surely it can’t be as thick as John Key after his ill considered childish statement. I think wee John might be just a wee bit envious of David Beckham’s 200 million plus compared with his 50 million plus. Further more I can’t see what his strange and unintelligent outburst would in any way assist a bunch school children in Dunedin, can you?

But John’s inability to conduct himself as an adult, verbally that is, calling David Beckham thick, is not unusual, he is constantly denying knowledge of what he clearly knows, by using words like ‘I can’t remember’, not knowing about Dotcom, child poverty, back-flips on less teaches in class rooms, and charter schools. If these indiscretions by our part time PM are indications of intelligence…then David Beckham is a whiz kid.     

Friday, 2 November 2012

Truth's new editor Whale Oil.

Truths new editor...Yeah Right. 

Cameron Slater, son of the once president of the National Party, has found a new hole to work from…he is now the editor of ‘The Truth’, now you may not have heard of the Truth a weekly that advertises in graphic detail the ins and outs of the booming adult sex industry. A sort of where to go, who to ring to live out all of ones fantasies of a sexual nature, home delivered or out of home.

A Mr. David Crow is one of the owners and he is the brother of Steve Crow the owner of the ‘Boobs on Bikes’ outfit the tours the country on educational tours helping to enlighten the male population on matters erotic and sexual.

The Truth is an ideal platform for Cameron Slater to ‘strut his stuff’ from his blog site known as Whale Oil, a shady blog site best known for its prostitution of the truth regarding New Zealand politics.

He will now be able to do his own weekly pole dance on page three of his own paper. If you are into Boobs and bums of the female sort you can get the ‘Suns’ page three style entertainment without needing to switch on your computer, that is if you can buy a Truth in your neighborhood dairy, if you can find one that sells it…most places stopped selling the Truth around twenty years ago.

With Whale Oil in charge editorially of Truth expect some startling stories or tales about Labour Party and Green Party politicians.

With headlines like: ‘David Shearer loves his cat! With intimate photographs from a hidden cell phone showing David stroking a cat on his porch at home [I don’t even know if David Shearer has a cat].

This startling story will run in conjunction with a interview with John Key about his family life in Hawaii and his past life as the worlds top banker and trustee of other peoples disappearing money and good friend of Mother Teresa of Bombay and David Beckham that wonderfully handsome but ‘Thick as a block’ football player. [John Key said that about him just the other day at a school down south].

Later Whale Oil will spend a bit of time explaining to Truths ten readers that the Greens not only hug trees…but that they LOVE them! And there will be matching secret and unclear pictures of green MP’s dancing around saplings in an erotic fashion at some Green Party rite out the back of Taihape on a moonlight night. This will make headlines on Truths front page. It will be all part of Truths revitalisation and rebirth. Telling it as it is sort of thing.

Cameron Slater will become a hero of the Journalistic scene here in NZ, other media will scream for his presence, he will replace Paul Henry as NZ’s top bigot, the Nats will offer him the seat of Epsom along with a cup of tea and John Banks will offer him a secret trust fund not to accept. Of course this is simply a Whale Oil dream and will come to nothing because:

The Truth is already dead and at rest in the morgue awaiting internment, but still there is nothing like a miracle to rejuvenate the hopes and dreams of a not so young Cameron Slater the new editor of a long dead but unburied rag that had sunk about as low as it could go and still awaiting a deep covering of earth.