Friday, 2 November 2012

Truth's new editor Whale Oil.

Truths new editor...Yeah Right. 

Cameron Slater, son of the once president of the National Party, has found a new hole to work from…he is now the editor of ‘The Truth’, now you may not have heard of the Truth a weekly that advertises in graphic detail the ins and outs of the booming adult sex industry. A sort of where to go, who to ring to live out all of ones fantasies of a sexual nature, home delivered or out of home.

A Mr. David Crow is one of the owners and he is the brother of Steve Crow the owner of the ‘Boobs on Bikes’ outfit the tours the country on educational tours helping to enlighten the male population on matters erotic and sexual.

The Truth is an ideal platform for Cameron Slater to ‘strut his stuff’ from his blog site known as Whale Oil, a shady blog site best known for its prostitution of the truth regarding New Zealand politics.

He will now be able to do his own weekly pole dance on page three of his own paper. If you are into Boobs and bums of the female sort you can get the ‘Suns’ page three style entertainment without needing to switch on your computer, that is if you can buy a Truth in your neighborhood dairy, if you can find one that sells it…most places stopped selling the Truth around twenty years ago.

With Whale Oil in charge editorially of Truth expect some startling stories or tales about Labour Party and Green Party politicians.

With headlines like: ‘David Shearer loves his cat! With intimate photographs from a hidden cell phone showing David stroking a cat on his porch at home [I don’t even know if David Shearer has a cat].

This startling story will run in conjunction with a interview with John Key about his family life in Hawaii and his past life as the worlds top banker and trustee of other peoples disappearing money and good friend of Mother Teresa of Bombay and David Beckham that wonderfully handsome but ‘Thick as a block’ football player. [John Key said that about him just the other day at a school down south].

Later Whale Oil will spend a bit of time explaining to Truths ten readers that the Greens not only hug trees…but that they LOVE them! And there will be matching secret and unclear pictures of green MP’s dancing around saplings in an erotic fashion at some Green Party rite out the back of Taihape on a moonlight night. This will make headlines on Truths front page. It will be all part of Truths revitalisation and rebirth. Telling it as it is sort of thing.

Cameron Slater will become a hero of the Journalistic scene here in NZ, other media will scream for his presence, he will replace Paul Henry as NZ’s top bigot, the Nats will offer him the seat of Epsom along with a cup of tea and John Banks will offer him a secret trust fund not to accept. Of course this is simply a Whale Oil dream and will come to nothing because:

The Truth is already dead and at rest in the morgue awaiting internment, but still there is nothing like a miracle to rejuvenate the hopes and dreams of a not so young Cameron Slater the new editor of a long dead but unburied rag that had sunk about as low as it could go and still awaiting a deep covering of earth.              

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