Thursday, 27 December 2012

An onerous task starts.

Eavesdropper in Hawaii.

Being an old military type I keep in touch with other old military types, who have children who are now new military types. One is a part of the Prime Ministers security team. They travel far and wide and especially to Hawaii in their effort to protect our leading citizen from attack by terrorist or fan club members.

Most of the information gained is un-publishable because of its very personal nature, but other bits are permissible because as the media says they are of ‘public interest’ and could even be considered a ‘right to know’. I use the Minister of Social Development [Paula Bennett] measure of what ‘Right to know means so almost anything goes in the interest of transparency, openness and getting your own way.

The Key mansion in Hawaii is much less pretentious than Kim Dotcoms in the Prime Ministers electorate in Auckland but it is up there in the clouds for most Kiwis.

My Eavesdropper agent whom I will call Young Willey armed with secret recording devices supplied by the FBI was eager to relate the various happenings for public consumption. I’ve changed nothing except for some bad language that I thought might offend my older readers: This from a Young Willey dispatch:

“We took off from Auckland International Airport on Air New Zealand, flying first class. I was seated right behind the PM and Bronagh. After an in flight meal and three wines the hostess asked the PM if he would like to watch a movie or read a magazine. The PM asked if ‘Playboy’ was available, ‘only in tourist class’ she answered. Bronagh muttered but I couldn’t understand what she said exactly but it sounded like ‘he is only joking’…The hostess suggested the latest Hobbit movie and the PM replied that he had already seen it. Instead he asked for the latest ‘Women’s Weekly’ because it never has political comments.

“Its good to be on our way”, said Bronagh.
“Absolutely”, answered John.
“Just you and I”, she uttered with a sigh.
“I’m so looking forward to relaxing at the beach”, replied John, adding “It’s so tiresome being prime minister that I look forward to our monthly break at home in Hawaii”.
“Anything interesting in the Women’s Weekly dear”, she asked
“Nothing really, it’s full of ******* adds”, he answered
“No need to swear dear, your not talking to Hekia Parata now”, she said.
“Sorry, I thought I told you not to bring up her name during our holidays”, he said sounding rather grumpy.
“Oh I forgot, I was just reading in the granny Herald about no one seems to know where she is these days, but it is sad about all those teachers not being paid, what with Christmas and all”, she muttered.
“It’s only money, don’t worry they can always use their credit cards dear, if they worked for a private company they wouldn’t have all these money worries”. He said yawning.

While John slept Bronagh carried on with her knitting, the clicking of her needles not drowned out by the hum of the aircrafts engines. So I switched off my listening device and did something a security guard is not meant to do…I fell asleep. I’ll report on the rest of my onerous task in four days…cheers Young Willey.  


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