Thursday, 22 May 2014

A day in the life of Jono Naylor

Jono Naylor [pictured] has been wandering around Palmerston North telling all and sundry that there will be an election for Mayor before Christmas. He really is a cocky wee fellow is our Mayor. I’m sure his God has spoken to him and revealed the future. “Come unto me Oh Jono Naylor said his new God, if you stand for National I’ll make sure you get a place high on the list”. And Jono Nationals new Messiah answered, “Oh blessed one I will gladly stand for your holy party but I want my candidate appointment to be uncontested and without financial disruption from my exalted position of Mayor said the meek and humble Jono Naylor. His God from his lofty and cloudy heaven in the sky said, ‘Of course oh chosen one, your wish will be granted and the local branch will be instructed to comply and to select only you and you alone’…answered Jono Naylor’s new God and heavenly benefactor.
John Key hung up the phone and said to Steven Joyce, “Well that’s sealed the deal with what’s his name Naylor something, of course he hasn’t got a show of winning the seat, and we won’t put him high enough up the list to enter parliament…but so long as we keep our party vote high in Palmerston North that’s the best we can hope for. Are you happy with that Steven?
“Well, so far we’ve the tobacco salesmen from Southland and Hutt South signed up so that will keep the tobacco companies happy and they will no doubt add to their already huge donation… The Chinese millionaires’ cabinet club in Auckland seem to have settled down now than Judith has buttoned her lip, and are fund-raising for us, we’ve received the money transfer from Warner Brothers but we can only bank that cheque once Kim Dotcom is in jail in the US… so I hope all goes to plan because as you are aware its one hell of a big cheque”, said Steven Joyce as he sipped his Gin and Tonic.
Don’t worry Steve baby, John Campbell and Campbell Live may have put a spanner in the works but I’ll talk my way out of his trap, after all I’m an expert at dishing the crap, and it’s so much easier when you are the boss of the GCSB”, said John Key as he looked proudly on-line at another piece of art-work from his Paris based artist daughter.   

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