Wednesday, 8 February 2012

Salesman of the year [2011] awarded to NZ's top smirker...John Key

NZ's Leading smirker...and his protection squad. 

Reflected glory
New Zealanders like hearing nice things about their country, so visitors to NZ are often asked what they think of New Zealand, sometimes even before they’ve actually arrived. In many respects this eager self desire to hear nice things about ourselves is because of the huge and multifaceted insecurity phobia that weighs heavily on many.

We also love to love our so-called winners…

We also love to pick our so-called top performers and put them on the front page so we can heap praise on them and bask in reflected glory.

For example our 2011 salesman of the year…to be in line to win this rather idiotic award needed to be able to successfully do, for example;

  1. Sell coal to New Castle
  2. Sell fridges to Eskimos.
  3. Sell loans to the bankrupt.
  4. Booze to alcoholics
  5. The Act Party to voters and
  6. Peoples own property to themselves…

The 2011 award was given to John [Smirk] Key leader of the National/Act Party and Prime Minister of New Zealand because of his mastery of point’s 1 to five and part way to achieving 6.
Because of this outstanding salesmanship in selling people what they already own; no mean feat, when you consider the magnitude of the sales.

His [John [Smirk] Key’s] behaviour was rather like a car salesman, [A line of work rated just above politicians on the trust measurement scale] turning up on a Saturday morning while you are washing your car and asking you if you would like to buy the car you are washing…
”But I already own the car”, you would naturally reply…
Whereas salesman John. K. would answer, “True, but by selling it to yourself and buying shares in it you can double your profit and turn that into an asset for your future and you can also use that asset to secure a loan to buy another car and you can do all that without paying any tax and you can then sell your shares and not pay any capital-gains tax because we don’t have CGT, he said so quickly that the listener lost track of its meaning.
“But I don’t want to buy another car, I’m happy with the one I’ve already got’, the listener pleaded.
“Well that might be your view, but it’s not mine and I’m an expert at selling peoples assets and taking a commission for doing so”, said our very short tempered PM.

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