Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Police will interview John Key, yeah right.

Will police interview John Key?

First this PR from the police via Green Party:

Police appoint senior team to look into illegal GCSB spying
Monday, 29 October 2012, 2:21 pm
Press Release: Green Party 
29 October 2012

Police have appointed a team of senior investigators to look into a Green Party complaint about the Government Communications Security Bureau’s illegal interception of Kim Dotcom’s communications, Green Party Co-leader Russel Norman said today.
Head of the ‘Operation Grey’ inquiry Peter Read, Detective Superintendent Southern, wrote to Dr Norman who laid the complaint under the Crimes Act.

DS Read expected an initial report on the findings mid-November.
“I am very pleased that senior police investigators have started inquiries and expect to make an initial report by November 15,” Dr Norman said.

“It is reassuring to know that police intend to interview key witnesses to get to the bottom of how a New Zealand resident was illegally spied upon.
“I hope they will interview senior police and Government ministers including Prime Minister John Key and his deputy Bill English, about their involvement,” Dr Norman said.

“Spies must be held to the same standards as other New Zealanders. They are subject to the laws of this land and must be held accountable by the police and the courts when they violate those laws.”

A QC has been appointed to provide independent oversight of the inquiry”. Ends

Sometime in the near future:

Our Eavesdropper in the PM’s office taped the following this morning and I thought that in the name of ‘openness and transparency’ I should share it with you as quickly as possible:

Two very, very senior police officers entered the PM’s office, they each wore name tags but their names had been covered over. Therefore I will name them as Cop 1 and Cop 2. After showing both into the PM’s office I switched on the hidden microphone and this is what I heard:

“Thank you for seeing us so quickly Prime Minister”, said Cop 1.
“Sure no bother, I’ve got a few minutes before I take off on my monthly holiday”, uttered the PM.
“You are not going overseas are you PM”, asked Cop 2.
“Well actually I am”, the PM replied.
‘Where”, said Cop 1.
Hawaii” said the PM.
“Himmm”, said Cop 2.
“We would like to ask you some questions relating to the behaviour of your GCSB, is that OK, asked Cop 1.
“I’m sorry old-chap, but I’m not allowed to answer any questions about the GCSB but if there is anything else I can help you with I’d be glad to assist”, said the PM.
“Oh I think in this case you can answer because we have been ordered from the highest level to seek answers to key questions about the GCSB and its operation regarding Kim Dotcom and we as we understand it you are the boss of the GCSB”, muttered Cop 2.
“I’m sorry but my job description doesn’t allow me to discuss the inner workings of the GCSB”, it’s a very secret organisation, said the PM.
“And who the hell wrote your job description”, said Cop 1 sounding like he was playing the bad cop role.
“I did”, so I can’t use the excuse, I can’t remember now can I”, said the PM.
“No I suppose not, so not much point then in conducting this interrogation, we might as well bugger off and let you get away on your no doubt well deserved monthly R and R break”, said Cop 2 playing the good cop role.

“No hang on a minute, I think I can help you out, what say I write some questions to myself, then answer them myself, and then leave the answers on the table, then I’ll go and get a coffee and while I’m out you can quickly read my questions and answers, how does that sound”, said the PM, adding it’s the way we used to do it on Wall Street when the regulators called, so if its good enough for Wall Street it should be good enough for little old Noo Zealand.

“You sound American”, said Cop 1.
“Well I’m not, I was born in Christchurch, lived in a State House and all that stuff, but I could end up living in the US a couple of years from now…well I’ll write my Q and A then I’ll duck out to the smoko room for a coffee. OK.

After a short period the PM left his office.

“Are you sure this is legal”, said Cop 2.
“I don’t really know, but I suppose we could call him a police secret undercover agent who is passing us information, that way we would have conducted this interrogation without having to reveal his actual identity”, said Cop 1.
“I think we ort to ring our boss and find out if that’s OK, we don’t want another Red Devils stuff up, who needs DI Wormald and Greg O’Connor on our backs”, said Cop 2.
“Lets read what the PM wrote, we’ll do it together”, said cop 1.

After a few minutes of total silence the two policemen burst out of the PM’s office and rushed out the main door…As the PM still hadn’t returned our Eavesdropper ducked into the PM’s office and saw the paper on the table, he had a quick read and photo-copied the page all before the PM returned. This is what he read…

To Whom It May Concern:


1. Does the PM know Kim Dotcom: Answer: Not until the raid, when I heard his name on TV3. Anyone who says anything else is a liar and a traitor and doesn’t love Noo Zealand.

2. Did the PM know that the GCSB was illegally spying on Dotcom: Answer: No way! the PM never knows about anything illegal. I’ve since learned that the GCSB was the Government Communications Security Bureau and they work closely with our good friends in the USA. And since I’ll need a US work permit in a couple of years I never asked any questions of the GCSB, the SIS or the police, but I did ask Hillary Clinton what she thought…and she thought I should continue knowing nothing.

3. Has the PM ever held any discussions with the head of the GCSB: Answer: Not really, I know he is short and chubby but I can barely remember his name. I may have seen the odd report from him but to the best of my ability I can’t remember any

5. What action will you take if our findings are negative: Answer: Lower the salaries of all police staff above the rank of Detective Inspector by at least 20%. And make…Crusher Collins Minister of Justice and John Banks Minister of Police. And if your findings are strongly negative I may make the Police a part of the Social Welfare Ministry under Paula Bennett and without a doubt she’ll make police take weekly drug tests.

But if you produce a favourable report clearing me of any blame for the bloody stupid [but welcomed] behaviour of the GCSB I’ll get you free passes to Sky City Casino and the next All Blacks test.

Signed: XX Your dear friend and employer…I have already forgotten what I wrote, and God bless America and Noo Zealand…PM’s Q and A note ends.

PS: I have removed all the bad language to protect the elderly and those who believe in God of what ever version or greed.

I have also sent a copy of this to the Police Complaints Authority but I’m not expecting a reply or acknowledgment for about two years and after the 2014 election.


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