Tuesday, 6 June 2017

Arise Sir John and kiss the Queens Corgi

The Rise and Rise of John Key: 
Arise Sir John…your dream has come true, its cost a lot of tax payers money, but you are worth every cent the public has donated unwillingly to your crowning glory and securement into New Zealand’s hall of fame.
He [that is John Key] truly believed this PR crap as he hugged his cuddly wife.

She smirked as she rubbed his bald spot, thinking she might have to buy him a wig shortly to cover that shinning dome. Maybe that’s why he keeps touching young innocent women’s pony tails. I used to think it was because he might be gay when I first noticed him touching young boys hair, but when he touched the hair of that young woman working in our local café I was somewhat relieved.

“Oh, he said, I didn’t have to break a sporting record, master a high mountain, rescue a person in distress, be a community worker suppling meals on wheels, be a voluntary nurse at one of our run-down public hospitals, I didn’t even have to use my mansion in Auckland or Hawaii to house the homeless or those losers living in their cars. I just had to spend some tax payers’ cash. Piss in a few pockets, kiss a few backsides

No I simply brought my knighthood; of course I had to reinstate the knighthood process, after the nasty evil villainess Helen Clark wiped it…still it wasn’t too expensive because the only guy I had to buy off with actual cash was the double-dipper from Dipton in the deep south Bill [loser] English.

My timing was absolutely brilliant in all respects [Yes I know that sounds immodest]\, but if the truth hurts that too bad] let me repeat absolutely brilliant…I like the sound of those words I’m sure that if I give that Mike Hosking crawler a buzz he’ll use those words ‘absolutely brilliant’, in his next stupid Seven-Sharp show, he always does what I pay for…he’s such a creep and big-headed too. In some ways he’s a little like me…

Then wee John remembered a few tweets made about him over the last few days:

And bad Sir John stood dumbly there, Pulling lengths of girly hair blushing beneath his crown”.

“Sir John was not a good man — He had his little ways. Sometimes no one spoke to him for days and days and days.

”Johnny was a banker wore a pinstriped suit, ruled a little country and helped his mates to loot”.

He couldn’t remember any nice tweets Oh there were the ones which he wrote and his son the DJ posted on Twitter.

He had only been a Knight for a few days and already the back-lash was hitting the National Party…

His daughter at school in Paris was thinking about changing her name and putting on some clothes when in public. 

His son was considering undergoing a sex change operation and also changing his name… 

Brilliant local blogger No Right Turn wrote a quick short but powerful blog on the subject and its worth a read:
Tuesday, June 06, 2017

It was the foreign monarch's false birthday over the weekend, complete with the traditional handing out of honours. And head of the list was former Prime Minister John Key, "for services to the state". Key of course is "immensely proud", and I suppose he would be - after all, that gong is worth a lifetime of free airline upgrades and highly-paid board positions. But what did he actually do to deserve it? Getting elected three times? Ignoring climate change and child poverty: Or possibly dragging us into a US war in Afghanistan and getting kiwi soldiers killed? Even if you're a fan of feudal titles (and I'm not), his record as Prime Minister is hardly stellar or deserving of recognition.

It’s also unseemly. Given the long lead time on honours, Key may very well have awarded it (sorry, advised the foreign monarch to award it) to himself. At best, he was awarded it by his friends as part of his exit package, (on top of his Parliamentary superannuation, ex-PM's annuity, and lifetime free air travel) A political stitch-up, which cheapens the honours system, like all of those "coincidences" around knighthoods and high-paying National donors.

OTOH, if we want a perfect example of why we need to do away with archaic feudal bullshit, it's this. We should abolish knighthoods. If politicians want to play at feudalism, they should join the SCA.
Posted by Idiot/Savant at 6/06/2017 12:08:00 PM


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