Monday, 7 January 2013

Last Eavesdropper report on Hawaii.

It's top secret 

Last Eavesdropper Report from Hawaii

This from Young Willies last days in Hawaii protecting the PM from the vast number of terrorists and fans. In this report he tells of the last day of his duty before returning to New Zealand by tourist class on Air New Zealand. With his departure my Eavesdropper linkage was broken for the timebeing. Willie flew back to NZ by tourist class because the Diplomatic protection Squad was way over budget, here is his last report:

The Blackhawk chopper landed outback of the mansion on the tennis court near the swimming pool. The PM John Key climbed on board carrying his lunch bag that had been put together by his wife. The lunch consisted of peanut butter sandwiches, his favourite sandwich filling. The Blackhawk would fly him to an unnamed US Air base in Hawaii from where he would be transported by a private jet to Washington. Once there his mission was to join with President Obama in developing a strategy to get the US into surplus by 2014 – 15.

Our team of diplomatic security agents would end their protection task at the unknown Air Base, it would be taken over by a special group of US security agents, the same team that helped organise the Kim Dotcom mansion raid.

I managed to covertly record the PM’s conversation with his wife before his pre-dawn take off in the Blackhawk helicopter. I feel that I should share it with you so you can fully understand the intense pressure our PM is under as he performs these difficult tasks on behalf of the nation and the world.

“You remembered to pack your medication, did you John”, said Bronagh.
“Yes”, said John as he combed his thinning hair.
“And you ate all your weetbix and stewed fruit, that’s good, and you’ve been to the toilet one last time”, she said as she handed him his lunch bag,
“Yes dear and thanks for all your help, I don’t know where I would be without your help, and your peanut butter sandwiches are fabulous”, he said kindly.
“Now you wont forget to say hallo to that lovely Mrs. Obama will you dear, she is such a nice person and so attractive too and she was so nice to me when we last visited”, she said.
“I’ll do that never fear, now you won’t say a word about this secret trip will you dear, remember its not just secret, its top secret. It’s so secret even I’m not meant to know about it”, he said sounding a little bit ‘James Bond like.
“That’s silly John, how can you not know about it? Oh I don’t understand all this secret stuff”, she uttered.

Just at that moment this six foot four Afro-American entered the room dressed in full air combat gear with two monster handguns strapped to his waist and said, “Hi PM Buddy I’m your pilot and I’m ready to rumble, the Pres is eagerly awaiting your invaluable advice on how to kick butt and get the good old US of A back on track, financially that is, so lets move shall we”…

The PM left the room and Bronagh slumped into her chair and said, “Oh dear me I thought for a moment that that tall man was a terrorist, thank heaven he is on our side”.

Well there it is Chief Eavesdropper, that’s my last report on my Hawaii call of duty…Oh one last thing, I never saw a terrorist, or a fan on the entire trip.  


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I understand that the Ecuadorean Navy is urgently diverting a frigate from Pacific coastal drug patrol duties to New Zealand waters in order to provide you with diplomatic protection (given that Ecuador currently has no formal diplomatic presence in Wellington), with an aim to taking you to their London Embassy to join with Assange, whose leak of sensitive materials have also (like you) earned the ire of Britain and the US (they are recruiting Hawiian maidens Hawaii to willing to make assertions regarding your sexual improprieties there). Gordon, RETIRED TERRORIST