Friday, 26 April 2013

Breakfast with Colin Craig

When eavesdropper ran into Colin Craig Eavesdropper was just a little concerned, you see Colin Craig, leader in Chief of the NZ Conservative [Religious and morally correct etc] Party and only hope for National at the next election, has a habit of sending at lightening speed lawyers letters to those who write about him, even if what has been written is obviously satire of the highest order.

So in publishing this report from Eavesdropper I should point out that it is satire. I don’t know if Colin Craig has a daughter, or a son for that matter, or if he is even married. But I do know that he is not married to someone of the same sex, I don’t know if anyone of the same sex would wish to marry him even after the law makes it possible [In July or August] to do so, but that’s another question for some other day in the future…[This information was gained via the GCSB and the PM authorised its release, but he won't recall doing so]:

“Dad”, she asked.

“Yes dear”, Colin answered, as he looked up from balancing his visa charge card. He did that every morning at breakfast, in fact he was very religious about it.

“What’s same sex marriage? She asked.

“Nothing that concerns you, just eat up your Weet-Bix”, he said as he turned a darker shade of pink, his normal colouring is a light shade of pink.

“But Dad, I’m fourteen, and my school mate Susan sent me a text which said, ‘Your dad is a bit odd, he’s against same sex marriage’, and I didn’t know what to answer”, she said sounding just a little upset and bewildered but more like inquisitive.

“Too damn right I am against same sex marriage, it’s wrong, evil even”, he said aggressively.

“I only asked, if I don’t ask how can I learn and how can I answer Susan’s text”, she said quickly in reply, adding “Why is it evil?

“Because I said so, and as you well know I’m always right”, he quickly snapped back.

“Yes I know you are always right, Mum told me that only yesterday when I asked her the same question about same sex marriage she said ask your Father, he knows everything. So if you could please, please Daddy would you answer my question”, she whispered.

“Well, its sort of when two men or women get married”, he stuttered as he felt a cold shiver down his spine.

“Oh, is that all, like they love each other, like you and mum did, so they get married…like you and mum did…gosh is that all it is”, she said.

“No, No, No, No, only a man and woman can get married, that’s the way it’s always been! And God says that’s the way it should always be! He said as his daughter interrupted him saying.

“You know God…Gosh I can’t wait to tell Susan that, she said with great joy.

“No, no I don’t personally know God the Almighty, but I know that same sex marriage is wrong and evil, because my Father told me”, he half shouted, which by the way is hard to do, you know half shout…

“And who told Granddad”, she immediately retorted.

“His father no doubt”, he said not realising how foolish that actually sounded.

“Thanks dad, I think I understand now…So two people who love each other can get married so long as the are man and woman…but two people who love each other if they are the same sex can’t get married…Right.

“Right dear you’ve got it…but the stupid government has changed the rules and now any two people who love each other can get married”, he said has he put this visa card back in his wallet and finished his orange juice before he realised what he had actually said to his daughter.

The daughter got down from the table and grabbed her cell phone and sent a text to her friend Susan…Your right Dad is a bit odd…and thanks

The moral of the story is…whatever you want it to be…that’s what democracy and freedom is all about…


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