Saturday, 20 July 2013

Eavesdropper in Singapore

Wheeler’s Corner GCSB eavesdropper was selected to protect the PM on his school holiday trip to Singapore and rushed this report to me on the latest happenings…

I thought it important and that I should make it public knowledge.

“Oh it’s been a lovely week’s holiday dear”, she said as she viewed her I Pad.

“I agree Bronagh, Singapore has wonderful restaurants and so cheap compared with London, Paris and even Hawaii”, replied John as he opened the diplomatic bag that he’d just received from his GCSB security agent body-guard [Number Four].

“Yes dear I agree the food is simply wonderful and the help is cheap as well, I mean it’s more expensive than back in New Zealand, but the servants here are simply divine.

“Damn”, said John as he read a document marked ‘Top Secret’.

“What’s the problem dear, have the GCSB discovered a plot to overthrow your government, are terrorists about to blow up the Beehive”, said Bronagh sounding somewhat alarmed.

“Worse than that, there is a brand new political party starting up” screamed John.

“What to replace that hairy Peter Dunne’s United something party”, asked Bronagh.

“No it’s much bigger than that, it’s a one-law-for-all party and according to the GCSB they got enough members to form a political party in just thirty minutes”. Said John sounding just a little rattled.

“I thought the GCSB couldn’t spy on New Zealanders”, uttered Bronagh somewhat confused.

“Oh, don’t worry about that we’ve been spying on people for years and I’m backdating the law to make it legal…but this new party is more dangerous than the Keith Locke greenie communist types, this God damn party will steal votes from me, that’s the problem, they are really thick, I mean one law for all, means we would all be treated like beneficiaries”.

“Oh John, you are so wise, I always knew that your university education would stand you in good stead”, she muttered as she patted him on his arm.

“The voters that this stupid idiotic party will attract are the red-necks that are the backbone of the National Party, you know talk back listeners, anti-Maori fan club supporters, Face-book users and such like”, he said sounding really depressed.

“Don’t worry dear, it’ll all workout, it always does, just hand the problem over to the ‘Big Three’, those three will introduce some new test to prevent the new party from getting organised, like they did with the beneficiaries, you know drug testing and what not”, said Bronagh sounding rather pleased with herself.

“God, ‘B’ you can’t drug test politicians if you did half of my cabinet would be out of a job and I’d be back selling funny bonds for a living, and all these servants costs heaps”, yelled John.

“So what’s to be done dear”, said Bronagh sensing that their holiday would not included Hawaii these school holidays.

“Get the divine servants to pack our bags we are heading home, I’ll just ring the Air Force and arrange a plane to fly us home”…Ok...every time we go on holiday something goes wrong that crew of mine simply can't manage without me. What would they do without me?


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