Thursday, 20 September 2012

Key - Brownlee - Dotcom - Banks saga

Gerry Brownlee, I know nothing. 

Known as Boss.

Key - Brownlee - Dotcom - Banks saga:

It is often thought that governments are made up of highly talented individuals who work their guts out for the benefit of the nation. Their work room, the parliamentary debating chamber is adorned with the banners of proud military units and each day the proceedings commence with a prayer where they swear that, ‘They will put aside all personal interests”, let me assure you that they don’t. What’s written below is but one example:

The characters in my tale are the Prime Minister John Key, Cabinet Minister and King of Christchurch Gerry Brownlee, Speaker Dr. Lockwood Smith and one person without a speaking role, Mr. Kim Dotcom.

John Banks also had a starring role but sadly he forgot his lines and failed to turn up. The rumour is that he was visiting Sky City Casino to thank them for their $15.000 donation which of course was anonymous     

JK: “Oh there you are Gerry”…

GB: “Where did you think I’d be boss”,

JK: Just for one moment I thought that was you upstairs in the public gallery”,

GB: “You mean that big fellow sitting in the front row?

JK: “You’ve got it in one Gerry baby”

GB: “Oh come on boss, he’s fat and he is a Jerry as in German”

JK: “Well…”

GB: “That’s Kim Dotcom, and the good looking bird sitting next to him is his wife”

JK: “I was only joking Gerry baby”

GB: “Anyway Kim Dotcom is a good mate of your buddy John Banks isn’t he?

JK: “No way, according to John Banks they hardly even know each other”

GB: “Then why did Dotcom donate fifty thousand bucks to his mayoral campaign fund”

JK: “Where did you hear that Gerry?

GB: “It was in all the papers and on TV and it says so in the official police report”.

JK: “You’ve read the official report! I thought I instructed everyone in cabinet not to read that nasty politically motivated piece of crap”.

GB: “Oh you did, but you know when you then went off to your holiday home in Hawaii… you know the old saying, ‘While the cats away the mice will play”.

JK: “You want to stay in cabinet do you Gerry baby?

GB: “Oh yes please boss, Christchurch needs me to keep them in line”.

JK: “Your bloody lucky Gerry baby that since I can’t sack the whole mouse like cabinet for disobeying my clear instruction you’ve got a second chance, but one more stuff up and it’s back to teaching woodwork at an intermediate school, that’s if there are any left in Christchurch after Hekia Parata finishes her mauling down your way”.

“Mr. Speaker”, shouted the Sergeant at arms as he led Dr. Lockwood Smith into the debating chamber. JK stood and Gerry struggled to his feet as the speaker slow marched toward the speakers chair…as he neared JK Lockwood Smith paused and said to the PM, “Don’t worry boss, I’ll protect you during question time”.

GB: “What have you promised Lockwood Smith?

JK: “Nothing much, just a Knighthood and the top London diplomatic post, he really loves the Queen you know”.

GB: “What’s he going to do in London, read the Queen points of order about her wider family’s strange behaviour?

JK: “Now, now Gerry stay clam I was thinking of posting you to diplomatic post in Fiji so you can stuff up Suva in the same way as you’ve done in Christchurch.

At this point the chamber got down to business with questions for the day...and we all know what happened next, the news media was full of it...

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